This is going to be a short entry. Something has come up, and I need therapy and help outside of what this blog can provide. It’s also one of the few times that I’m not comfortable discussing things here. So I have been quiet. I feel gripped, I can feel it choking me and I’ve been running and finally was able to give it a name, and am finally able to seek help for it. I’m not sure what will happen, but I’ve felt as if my life has been put on hold.

Still, I like writing here, so I’m going to write and review something which I never thought I’d give a rave review to: Avatar. I saw it once way back when it first came out and hated it. But it’s strange how much context and perspective can change things. I can still understand why people would hate it, but I really like it. Related to the opener of this post, I was taken to see it (actually twice) by family as a way to get out of the house and for that, it’s actually really good. It’s pretty, it’s fun, it’s escapism, it has some great performances, nice music, and I liked the 3D effects. I like Sigourney Weaver and Michelle Rodriguez, and both were very good in the show. The movie had its sweet moments, it had some fun action sequences and didn’t get overly serious (except for the ‘fight terror with terror’ speech, this isn’t a political drama Cameron). While I still wonder what could have been done with this technology and world they created if they wrote it better or took an original angle on the conflict; it does the trick. When I watch it I feel like a kid again. Well, a little Jade. So I feel like a kid for the first time. Saying “a kid again” could be a nightmare, but this is the good version… Anyways, not sure how much longer it’s going to be in theaters, but I might go a third (well fourth) time when the crowds aren’t thick if I’m having mood swings. I go in pretty much terrified of what’s around me and it lifts my spirits. Anyways, if you haven’t seen it, see it while its still in theaters. It was designed to be a spectacle and a fun movie and it really is, and the 3D is cool. There’s one scene that’s hard to take, but I just cover my ears so that there’s no trigger now. I just hope that people realize that Avatar was designed to be in 3D and show it off. I have a fear that everyone’s going to go “Every movie should be 3D!” forgetting that it really doesn’t work for most projects. However even with that small warning I have no doubt Star Wars Episodes 1 through 6 will make their way back to theaters in full 3D by 2011. Jar Jar Binks… in your face… it’s coming.

You could probably read into Avatar as a transsexual fantasy too, but that’s for when I can actually write. The words don’t flow to me as easily right now. But given how many of us hope and pray to go to sleep and wake up in another body, and then for some undergoing SRS it can feel like that actually happens… I don’t know if there’s an idea here, but Na’vi… Tra’ni… Think about it.

I usually do something for the full moon, but tonight I’m just taking it easy. Again, not sure if I’ll write here or not. It seems with all of this, my ability to stream words together easily is somewhat impaired. So I’m just waiting to see a specialist, reading comic books and going to see repeat viewings of Avatar. My apetite has been shot, so I’m going to eat something.

Happy Full Moon!

- Jade

P.S. I just realized this is post number 200.

posted by Jade Castillo
Tags: Avatar, Transsexuality
Filed under: Jade's Diary, Transsexuality